Dear Carolyn,

I’m a truck driver who recently asked out a nice gal who works in the main office the small trucking company I drive for. We had a good time and I would like to ask her out again. However, she has not returned any or my calls or text messages since the date.

Does this mean she’s not interested? I wish she would just say so.

Kevin,

Dear Kevin,

She did.

Sorry, I know that sounds mean but if she’s not returning your calls and is not dead or in a ditch somewhere, she’s not interested. I hate it when that happens and it happens all the time. All of our devices makes it both easier to connect and easier to disconnect.

There are other fish in the sea. Go fishing.

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn

PS Don’t call her anymore! More than three unreturned calls = stalking.

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Dear Carolyn,

I was happily married for five years but as it turns out, my wife was not. She never shared that particular tidbit of information in our short time together. As far as I knew, all was well. I’m not pretending that I’m perfect but I’m not a mind reader either. I came home from a long trip and she had moved out and left me a note saying she was filing for divorce.  No explanation. No reason. No idea what happened.

Later, I found out that she found another guy. While I was out there calling her, sending her texts, mailing funny cards and generally trying to do a good job to put a roof over her head, she was “lonely.” Well, she knew I was a trucker when we got married and she said it was fine with her.

I’m bitter. But I blame the trucking life for my marriage’s break-up. If I could be home like a normal human, she would not have had to turn to another guy out of loneliness. So, my advice is to get the heck out of trucking.

I’m just say’n,

Ben

Dear Ben,

You didn’t choose the wrong profession, you chose the wrong gal. Plenty of long distance marriages work out. It takes two committed people and in your case, you were a party of one.

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn

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Dear Carolyn,

My best friend thinks I should break up with my boyfriend. She makes good points about all his bad points. But she never mentions anything about his good qualities. I’m starting to wonder about her motivation. Lately, I’ve been thinking she might have her eye on him!

What do you think?

Kate

Dear Kate,

This is reason #272 why you should not depend on BFF’s for relationship advice.

If you have the “feeling” that all is not as it seems, pay attention to those vibes. Everyone has bad points. What you have to determine is; do his good qualities outweigh his negative ones? I would focus on the relationship with your boyfriend before you make any big decisions based on your girlfriend’s opinion.

As for your BFF?  Gently suggest she look for her very own Mr. Perfect. That ought to keep her busy!

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn

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Dear Carolyn,

I’m not any further into my goal toward becoming a better person than I was this time last year. I’ve got my resolution list all written and taped to my dashboard. But I don’t really believe I’ll accomplish any of them.  Right now, I’m taking your advice and taking it slow. Instead of trying to lose 50 pounds, I’m trying to substitute water for soda and walk 30 minutes a day. Those two things are hard to do. I wish I had more hope that I could do this.

What do you think?

Jerry

Dear Jerry,

If you do those two things, I promise you that you will see results. You will feel better about yourself for sticking to the plan and you’ll be taking the first steps toward healthy diet and fitness. But you have to get rid of that voice in your head. He’s living there rent-free, telling you bad stuff about yourself. Kick him to the curb. Put on happy music and take your walk.

I’m just say’n

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Dear Carolyn,

Well, I survived my first Thanksgiving on the road. It was not as terrible as I thought it would be. I had a lot of calls/texts/emails from friends and family. They even put my son on face-to-face and I read him a goodnight story. All was not lost!

The waitress at the truckstop was really kind and I left a nice tip. I’m sure she didn’t want to be there anymore than I did. One comment. All the other guys sitting around seemed very depressed and angry. This is my first year driving but I don’t want to turn into those guys. I get it that it’s tough to be out there but it’s also what you make of it. Right?

Casey

Dear Casey,

Absolutely right on! The holidays have a way of bringing out the best and the worst in us. I believe you are as happy as you decide to be. You cheered up the waitress and maybe some others who saw your positive attitude.

Carry on!

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn

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Dear Carolyn,

Why are you always so sarcastic? Don’t you worry about what people will think?

Penelope

Dear Penelope,

I don’t worry too much about what people think since they don’t do it very often. Besides, as your wingman, I have to tell the truth. Sometimes that may seem harsh and sometimes the humor may sting. The reality is, most people who ask me what to do already know what to do. They need someone to confirm their choices but are too confused/depressed/overwhelmed to recognize the solutions.  It’s because I care about the letter writers that I am blunt. We all have way too many people in our lives who tell us what we want to hear. I am not one of them!

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn

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Dear Carolyn,

My wife has changed since we got married. When we were dating she was funny, kind and a blast to hang out with. Now, all she does is complain about how I don’t do what she wants me to do. I feel like I got the bad end of the stick in this deal. We got married after only two months of dating and everyone loves to tell me they told me so.

What do you think?

Jerry

Dear Jerry,

I’ve worn my daily disposable contacts longer than two months!  Anyone can try on a different personality for a few months. That’s why, if you had asked me before you got married, I would have told you to wait a bit.

Which doesn’t help you now. What I suggest is that you give it some time. She’s probably dealing with the same buyer’s  remorse you are. Talk about your mutual expectations. Give it a shot. There may be something worth saving. If not, you will have to just cut your losses.

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn

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Dear Carolyn,

My conscience is killing me. Years ago I had a fling with a married woman.  Now that I’m married to a great gal, I feel like I should confess my past sins. Do you think that’s a good idea? I want to prevent this from happening again.

Mark

Dear Mark,

A conscience doesn’t prevent sin, it prevents you from enjoying the sin.  Save the confessions for the priest.  No need to worry your new bride. You have learned your lesson and will never repeat that mistake. Right?

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn

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Dear Carolyn,

I love Halloween! I love dressing up, decorating the house, taking the kids trick or treating and all the candy!  My husband hates it. I think he’s worried about all the calories in the candy. I think that every once in a while, it’s okay to splurge on sweets. What fun is life if you can’t kick back and act like a kid?

Spooky

Dear Spooky,

I too love Halloween and candy. I get it that the anxiety of having all that candy around can take a bite out of the fun. Here are some tips:

Buy your least favorite candy to give out to the little monsters.

Freeze a few pieces of the best stuff from their stash.

Eat a healthy meal before digging into the candy.

Compare the real calories/sugar/fat in the candy you love. For instance, a Reeses Pumpkin has an amazing number of calories, (160) versus a roll of Smarties which has only 23 calories.

Made the candy choice count!

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn

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