March 23, 2011

Why can’t we be friends?

Dear Carolyn,

 My husband is ‘good friends” with a woman he works with. They have been friends for years, way before I even met him. I never had a problem with it because there was never anything romantic between them. I honestly don’t believe that has changed. What has changed is how I feel about their friendship. He confides in her about our problems and asks her opinion about things I do. He’ll say, “Sally thinks you ought to clean the house more,” or “Sally doesn’t really like it that you cook with so much butter.” I don’t want to sound like a nagging, insecure wife but I’m at the end of my rope.

What should I do? Oh, by the way, she’s beautiful, skinny and single. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Katie

 Dear Katie,

I was already hating on Sally and then you had to throw in that last line! Okay, so you are not jealous of their relationship because she’s beautiful, skinny and single, but because he gives her the time and attention that he should be giving you? I get that. It sounds to me like Hubby is using what Sally says to communicate how he feels about your housekeeping and cooking. Quite cowardly of him. Here’s what you do. Tell him you expect your marriage to be between the two of you and that any complaints he has need to come from him, to you. Keep in mind that he married you, not Sally.

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn